I know I’ve posted about this before, but I’ve got to say I love the Police Beat in the Daily Universe (available online at nn.byu.edu). It reminds me a lot of my old town’s newspaper, where we’d often have a hilarious mix of serious crimes and petty incidents. Highlights of this week’s Police Beat include:

• There is a disturbing amount of thefts at a place that is called “The Lord’s University.” 12 reported this week. That’s ridiculous, and I think that anybody who has committed any of these should go and see their bishop.
• “A faculty member claimed someone entered his office in the Snell building and took football tickets from his desk. The police checked the seats during the game but there was nobody with his tickets.” Hmmm, does it sound to anybody else like this faculty member… lost their tickets?
• Evidently, someone cemented 14 ceramic animals to the rocks by the water feature by the bell tower. I would have loved to have seen this!
• My hall totally made the Police Beat! Our RA’s window was smashed, and we don’t know who. We suspect the Ninja.
• Quite possibly one of the oddest stories to be in the Police Beat recently is this: “A father was trying to play Cupid between a Bookstore employee and his son. He tried to pressure her to go out with him but she told him that she didn’t want anything to do with her son.” What a wackjob.

Stay tuned next week, at the same Criminal Channel, same Criminal Place! BYU Police Beat!